


How Can I Live As One

by Lenka



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Fluff, Mpreg, Multi, Uncle/Nephew Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2019-11-16 04:10:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18087176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenka/pseuds/Lenka
Summary: Jisoo's other half is here, but he still can't live as one with him.





	1. [Part 1]

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. My first fic in English here. I'm sorry in advance for any mistake, since this was not beta-ed. This is the fic version of my Twitfic, so they will be short chapters. I hope you can somehow enjoy.

“Vernon, congratulations!”

“Josh!”

As the brothers hugged, Jisoo put a kind smile in front of his baby brother’s gummy one. He could feel a proud _‘new father’_ aura oozing off him already. It was the visiting time, but strangely the usual noise of children running around hallways and crying, hungry babies were not heard at all. Jisoo didn’t mind, though. His head focused solely on his brother’s new family member.

“Is Seungkwan fine?”

“Yeah. He’s inside. You wanna see him?”

Jisoo nodded.

Vernon was a bit unsure, hesitating for a moment to open the door—his hand hovered above its handle—before he slightly shook his head and opened it. When they entered, Jisoo instantly froze on the spot, and, as fast as his reflex could, he stumbled backwards, hiding behind the broader back of his baby brother. Vernon sighed silently as he had already expected this kind of reaction from Jisoo.

_Bad timing, Josh. Really bad…_

Of course, the man Jisoo was avoiding took note of it too. Eyes carefully shifted from Jisoo to his mate who was sitting beside him. He tugged his mate’s arm, suggesting the man to say goodbye to Seungkwan. They’d been visiting for nearly 30 minutes. The new mother needed some rest.

Seungcheol looked at his mate, then to Vernon at the door and some strands of hair that was barely visible from behind him. He understood everything in a beat. Sighing mentally, Seungcheol stood up, kissing still-tired Seungkwan’s forehead lovingly, wishing him and the baby’s health. Jeonghan did just the same. But instead of a kiss, he gave the man a warm hug. 

They said their goodbyes, then walked past Vernon by the door. They only exchanged wordless smiles. However, Jeonghan’s stare lingered a bit more than Seungcheol’s towards the guy behind Vernon. Jisoo felt it and he gulped. He did not want to look back. He did not want to see the timers resting peacefully on their wrists, naturally tattooed there since the very young age, just like what the rest of humanity had.

He had it too. Just not ticking at all, nor drained until 00:00.

Yet.

 

When they both had fully disappeared, swallowed by the large amount of visitors in that hospital, Jisoo finally heaved a heavy sigh. 

“Sorry, Josh, I forgot to tell you-“

“N’ah, it’s okay. I shouldn’t drag you and Seungkwan into my personal problem…”

Vernon said nothing at this, merely patted his brother’s back and guiding him to Seungkwan. He slipped to one side, tidying up the small drawer beside the hospital bed while Jisoo came closer to the man lying sated from the other side. He pulled out a chair and sat beside Seungkwan.

“Jisoo-hyung.”

“Kwannie,” he hugged his brother-in-law. “Congratulations. How are you feeling?”

“Tired, mostly,” Seungkwan hugged back. “But amazing. Damn amazing…”

“Thought so. Where’s the baby?” with a hopeful smile and apparent glint in his eyes, Jisoo asked. It was Vernon who chimed in.

“He’s in the baby room. Probably sleeping. You want a drink?”

Jisoo shook his head. “I’m good. So, it’s a ‘he’?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I see him?”

Vernon pondered, thumb brushing lightly on his own chin. “I think you can. The baby room is just down this hallway. If the curtain is closed, that means all the babies are asleep. If they open it, well, you can see him.”

Excited, Jisoo could not get up fast enough from his seat, emitting weak laughter from Seungkwan. Instead of asking Vernon to lead the way, Jisoo wandered by himself, leaving the room with sure steps, making his baby brother sighed and trailed leisurely behind him until they were in front of a quite big room with a large glass window. Standing side by side, Jisoo raked the view inside the baby room. Small babies were sleeping inside their small, weird square pods. They had their names written in ink on each of the pods. The blankets on their tiny bodies were either in baby pink or baby blue color.

“So…which one is he?”

“Hmmm wait…..ah, that one. He was outside his bed, I guess. That nurse is bringing him back”

Jisoo’s smile lit up for a second, but fell immediately as he felt a strange feeling tug his heart and a stinging sensation from the inside of his wrist. With a silent _‘ow’_ , Jisoo glanced down at his own wrist. The numbers changed. It was ticking countdown so damn fast, he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him at first.

_00:05  
00:04_

“Josh, let me introduce you.”

_00:03_

The nurse at the other side of the glass smiled warmly at them and brought the red baby boy closer to the window so his relatives could see him better.

_00:02_

“Meet my first son.”

_00:01_

“Seokmin.”

_00:00_

Then Jisoo burst to tears.


	2. [Part 2]

When Jisoo burst into tears seeing his son, Vernon’s mouth fell open. He thought Jisoo was just being all emotional meeting the bundle of joy for the first time, so he tried his best to soothe his big brother by circling his hand gently on Jisoo’s back. It was proven futile, as the crying did not even stop until later on, when the baby had been taken away once again by the nurse and they both had returned to Seungkwan’s room.

“Josh…are you okay?”

“- _hic_ -I-I’m s-so-“

“ _No_ ,” Vernon interrupted. “Don’t _‘sorry’_ me. Never say _‘sorry’_ again. I’ve had enough.” Vernon’s sudden anger shocked him a bit. His baby brother ruffled his honey brown hair. Eyes were so soft, radiating genuine concern towards his only sibling. Jisoo looked back for a moment, until his gaze faltered again and he sniffed. “Tell me, _Jisoo-hyung_ , what is it?”

Vernon almost never called him that, since the brothers used to call each other by their American names while growing up. Only at certain serious turn of events did Vernon ever address him as _Jisoo-hyung_. One of those was this exact moment. 

Jisoo’s gaze slowly turned downwards, further, to his right arm. Automatically, Vernon averted his gaze too. Both of his eyebrows went up as his eyes widened in disbelief. There, on Jisoo’s arm, the soulmate timer looked similar as his own (and, of course, Seungkwan’s).

00:00 engraved there.

“ _Hyung_...”

“S-sorr-“

“When??” Seungkwan could not help asking, he almost chirped excitedly. His curiosity rose. This was a good thing! Jisoo finally met his soulmate! A big thing, even!

Jisoo gulped at this, though.

“This night-“

“Here??”

“In hospital?” Seungkwan scrunched his nose. Hospital was the least ideal place to meet your other half, in his personal opinion, mind you.

“-w-when I was in front of the baby room-“

“The nurse??” Vernon let out shocking after shocking remark, he made Seungkwan irked to bark at him to shut up, if only the man himself was not also indulged into deciphering hints of Jisoo’s mysterious soulmate.

“Or one of the baby’s family member…,“ he started a more rational suggestion, when Jisoo hurriedly continued.

“-looking at my own _nephew_.”

 

A long silence fell between them. Vernon was the first to break it off. He couldn’t help stuttering when doing it, though.

“Y-y-you mean-our Seokmin-“

His big brother slowly nodded.

“Oh God…,” Vernon cupped his mouth desperately. Tears were already threatening to fall from his sockets. _Why?_ Why his brother had to suffer like this for a damn long time? Wasn’t it enough? Wasn’t it already enough that his fiancé had found his soulmate at the day that was supposed to be their wedding, and moreover it was Seungkwan’s older brother? Wasn’t it enough that Jeonghan and Seungcheol got married at the same place Jisoo had planned before?

And now _this_?

Vernon had been hoping after his harsh breakup, Jisoo would finally meet his soulmate, a suitor that was kind and loved his brother so dearly. He would get married or…or just be happy with that one special person in his life. Just like him and Seungkwan. And on the day of Jisoo’s wedding, he would bring him the brightest bouquet of flowers to match his glowing, beautiful smile.

But no.

God had to create Jisoo’s soulmate in the form of Vernon’s own son, Jisoo’s nephew. It was not only a torture and filled with uncertainty, since they had exactly 23 years apart between them. It was also a crime, because they were family. Blood related. Part of the blood running through their veins was the same. A taboo incest.

His face fell into a sad expression. Despair, perhaps. He did not care the slightest that Jisoo had always hated that specific expression, because he did pity his big brother. _How pitiful…_

_Jisoo was a pitiful being…_

“Why…?” Vernon cried. Tears finally rolling down his cheeks as he stepped forward and pulled his big brother into a desperate embrace. “Why is it so hard for you to be happy, Josh…just… _why_?”

He honestly didn't know the answer to that. Jisoo, breath hitched, teary eyes, hugged Vernon back.

“D-don’t cry, Vernie…you know I hated seeing you cry…”

Contrary to the other two, Seungkwan sat still while watching the two brothers crying, lips sealed tight, forming a fine horizontal line. He knew all the stories about Jisoo from his husband. He daresay knew why his husband was crying his heart out as of now. Seungkwan would be lying if he said his heart did not get stirred by the event unfold before his eyes.

But this was their baby. Barely alive a day old.

It was way too soon to meet a soulmate.

“I won’t allow it.”

“Kwannie-“ Jisoo whispered.

“I can’t! I-“ his thought scrambled, looking for the right words. “I want him to grow up normally! I want him to live his childhood just like any other kids, wondering when the timer on his arm will be ticking. I want him having lovers in search of his mate. I-I want him to be like _us_! A normal, usual child, growing up fully-“

“Kwan-“ Vernon started to talk, but JIsoo hushed him immediately.

“I understand.”

“ _Hyung_!”

“I also never wish to rob my nephew’s present and future. I also want him to live a normal, happy life. Grow up normally. Having friends, having lovers. I…I will never say to him or anyone that I’m his soulmate. This will be our secret, just between us.”

Silence, again.

“But, hyung-“

“Vernie. Even someone like me knows I have to respect a soulmate’s mother’s wish. I will, and you will too. Besides, by the time he’s declared an adult, I’m already old. He’ll have his own lover, even a family of his own, and maybe I will too. We…we can still fix this. The three of us… _we can do this_.” Deep in his chest, Jisoo doubted his own words. But as long as he could assure Seungkwan and Vernon that he also wanted the best for his nephew, he would say _anything_.

Seungkwan did not say another word, as he was afraid his wall that he mentally put up could be broken, crumbled into pieces, if he saw Jisso’s eyes right now. Jisoo did not say anything anymore either. He just smiled serenely, accepting everything like always, like he had been doing all this time. Stain of tears was still visible on both of his reddened cheeks.

Only Vernon dared to speak. Words so true, it hurt Jisoo in his core until much, much later.

“But, hyung, you know that soulmates cannot deny their feelings for each other at all, don’t you?”

This decision would hurt both of them. Would hurt Jisoo the most, but Seokmin would feel it too.

Hurt in knowing.

Hurt in not knowing.

No happiness would come out of this.

“I know,” Jisoo smiled wider. “That’s why I’m going to move to L.A.”


	3. [Part 3]

“PAPA, IS THAT UNCLE JOSH??”

“Ssh! Seokkie, please don’t yell. I can’t hear him well here!”

“ME! ME! CHANGE, PAPA, LEMME!”

“Seokkie!”

“I WANT UNCLE JOSH!”

“Geez…”

Vernon sighed before passing on the receiver to his too-eager son. He could hear Jisoo’s giggle a bit. It was only when Seungkwan’s not home that he ever called his big brother. He did not want his husband knew that Seokmin still somehow connected to Jisoo. Soulmate or not, they were still a family. It was wrong to hide Jisoo completely from his own nephew.

After all, Vernon argued with himself when he first called Jisoo for Seokmin, they were thousands of kilometers apart. What harm could be done? Life would soon engulfed them both and made them forget each other.

“UNCLE JOOOSSSHH!”

‘O-ow my ear…’

“SORRY-“ he covered his mouth instantly. “Sorry, Uncle, I’m just excited to speak to you again. Why won’t you call often?”

‘It’s okay, Seokkie. You know I can’t. L.A. and Jeju have time difference and I’m mostly working.’

Seokmin puckered. “But I want to see you in persoonn~”

Now he whined cutely. Jisoo could not help but smile. He always loved kids. His nephew grew up to be an adorable and caring child. Literally a goofball of sunshine. Vernon and Seungkwan had done a very great job as parents.

‘I want to see you too, Seokmin-ah. I promise whenever there’s occasion arise, I will hop onto the earliest plane and fly to Jeju just for you.’

What a blatant lie.

“You’ve always said that…but it’ll be my 8th birthday next week and I still only know you from pictures alone!”

Jisoo sighed. Every time they spoke over the phone, it made his heart rushed with so many different feelings. Of course, he was happy to be able to hear his nephew’s voice, but sometimes, he also felt tired because Seokmin kept pushing to actually meet him.

And sometimes,

‘Seokmin-ah, you know it’s not my wish to never meet you. It’s just that my work keeps me here and I can’t-‘

“I miss you.”

He smiled. ‘How can you miss me when we haven’t even met, Seokmin-ah,’ he giggled again, jokingly teasing his nephew.

“Joshua,”

Jisoo froze.

“I _miss_ you.”

And sometimes, Seokmin brought fear to him. At times like this, Jisoo got reminded that they were still soulmates. He gulped silently and drew back to his far corner of heart. He pulled away from the receiver to steady himself before continuing their conversation. When he came back, his voice already returned to the fun uncle mode. He was Jisoo, the fun, cool, and faraway uncle of Seokmin. Nothing less, nothing more.

‘I know, Kid. Listen, you do good and I will see you some day. We will meet. I can promise you that. If I ever promise you one thing, is that I will see you. I don’t know when, but I will never break our promise. Okay?’

Seokmin’s mouth fell. Unbeknown to Jisoo, his nephew actually had that doubted expression on his face right now. His brows scowled deeply. His father, looking at him like that, rustled his dark brown locks lovingly. Seokmin suddenly pushed the receiver to his father. His eyes glared with unexplained anger.

“Papa, tell Joshua, if he lie to me one more time, I won’t speak to him ever again.”

He turned on his heels and left with rough stomps all over the house. Vernon sighed, then lifted the receiver to his ear.

“You heard the man, Josh. You really are a bad liar since you’re a kid…”

‘Vernie…’

“Yeah, yeah, I know. You’re tired. I swear, sometimes I don’t wanna give the phone to him. Hearing you two talked like that…I’m scared he suddenly book a plane to L.A. and throw the city upside down looking for you…”

‘Me too…’

Because Jisoo would too.

“Look, just, find your happiness there, okay? I gotta go. Seungkwan’s coming back in 10 minutes. I miss you, Josh.”

‘Miss you too, baby bro.’

“Eww, nasty. Not gonna say I love you, then.”

‘No need, I already know.’

They had a good laugh before disconnecting each other.


	4. [Part 4]

‘Hey…’

“…Seok?”

Jisoo groaned. It was 2 in the morning and he had just shut his eyelids roughly 3 hours ago. At Saturday, he usually got out of his bed at 7 the earliest, and absolutely not by a sudden phone call coming from different time zone. His face scrunched up, looking more like a grumpy cat.

‘You’re sleeping? I’m sorry.’

He wanted to shout at his nephew, because, _yes_ , he _was_ sleeping and, _no_ , his sorry was _not_ enough, but every cells in his being refused to. Instead, he just gave him a snarky remark, as usual.

“Yeah, like you didn’t know that before you called, Kid,” the man rubbed his temple. Jisoo could hear the other’s playful grin on his ear. Damn that soulmate of his.

‘You’re right. I just wanna _mess_ with you…,” Seokmin breathed those words, making Jisoo impulsively shuddered. Mind was fully awake by now. Nevertheless, he was also on the edge of his nerve. Work and his failed date (again) had drained him this past week. He could use a good night sleep to keep himself sane. Sadly, Seokmin had no intention to let his uncle go.

“…Are you trying to phone sex your old uncle right now, Kid? Really? In this godly hour?”

‘No, I’m kidding! You’re feisty when you’re sleepy, Josh!’ he then added sotly. ‘And you’re not old.’

“I’m old, Seokkie, I’ll be 37 this year…”

‘And I’m sure you’ll still be my smoking hot, old uncle, Josh.’

Jisoo tsk-ed. “I swear if you just called to flirt with me-“

‘No, no! Okay, jokes aside, I need your help…well, more like opinion,’ Jisoo could hear his nephew scratched the back of his head. ‘The thing is, there’s this girl from my class. She’s pretty and kind, a nice girl. I think I like her. I want to ask her out. But I…need you to assure me about it, is it a good idea or not.’

Everything went blank in his mind. Jisoo did not even register the exact moment his receiver had slipped from his hand and laid helplessly on his sheet. Only when Seokmin had been calling his name repeatedly did he suddenly return to Earth and took the receiver back to his ear.

‘Josh? Helloo? Are you there?’

“Y-yeah, sorry,” he cleared his throat. “You what now?”

‘I said I want to ask this girl out. She’s so cute; she might be the one, Josh!’

A loud pang hurt his chest, yet he tried his best to ignore it. Jisoo closed his heart, his mind, his everything, to help Seokmin by lending him an ear as the good uncle he always was, always had been.

“You’re 14. You don’t know,” he laughed lightly. “Ah, but, is she your soulmate?”

Seokmin sighed. ‘Nope~ my timer did not move even a second. But that’s okay, right? Like you just said, I’m still 14. I have plenty of time to finally meet my only one,’ his voice was too cheery, too careless. Too young and naïve and happy. He hated it. Jisoo hated it so much. It made his mind going further and further away, down to the hell hole with all his fading sanity. A swirl to the deepest core of his heart—a one, big, rotten apple.

What was it that wise people often said?

_Ah._

_The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core._

How befitting.

 

His sudden silence, however, did not go unnoticed this time. ‘Joshua? Are you sure you’re okay? I will hang up if you really need this sleep, yanno? I’m really, really sorry-‘

“No, I’m…I’m okay,” he gulped. “So, why do you need my assurance if you seem like you’re all ready to be her boyfriend?”

That question actually hit him. _Why?_ Seokmin didn’t know. It felt like his heart wouldn’t allow if Jisoo had no idea about it, which the fact itself sounded so weird already, even to him. He didn’t tell his father or his mother. The only other one who knew was his little sister, but that was just because they’re in the same school. Of course, he forced her to stay quiet by bribing her snacks. So why exactly Jisoo, his faraway uncle, someone for these whole 14 years he talked with only through phone, needed to know about his possible first girlfriend? 

_He did not know._

‘I don’t--I can’t explain it…I-I just thought that, if-if you don’t approve, then I won’t-‘ the young boy answered. His voice was heavy with confusion.

There was a big lump in Jisoo’s throat now. His mind was already a mess and he tried his best not to sob hard into the receiver to save himself some of his dignity. He could not—did not _want_ to think his soulmate getting another lover, but he _had_ to.

_This is for Seokmin’s happiness…_

“Silly kid,” he hoped Seokmin didn’t notice his forced laughter. “Of course I approve. As long as she’s nice to you and makes you happy, then why wouldn’t I?”

‘…Really? You’re okay with it?’

“Well yeah!”

There was a pause for a moment, and then Seokmin grinned.

‘Okay then! I will confess to her tomorrow! I’ll let you know how it goes. Thank you, Joshua, I love you!’

“Yeah,” he choked. “Love you too…”

The minute the ‘ _click_ ’ sound was heard from the other side, Jisoo threw his phone with all his might to the wall. The phone shattered, broken into pieces, with a loud bang.

And he wailed.

And wailed.

And wailed.

 

Crying his sorry heart out.

Crying at his stupid self.

Crying at his pitiful destiny.

Crying at his own weakness, his inability to just let go, get laid with someone, get married, have kids, forgetting his soulmate…

_Soulmate._

By now, the word had become a bitter after taste on his tongue. He despised it with his whole being. He despised himself for despising it.

A soulmate.

_What a stupid joke._

What’s the point of having one if he could not even touch him all of his life? Could not pepper his face with loving kisses? Could not cuddle on the couch while watching a sappy romantic movie together? Could not share a hug freely? Could not hold hands under the lamp post while snowflakes falling around them? What’s the point?

_God, why…what did I ever do to you?_

 

When he slowly came from his restless sleep, Jisoo hoped he had been dead instead. At least, in death, he would finally get a peace for his troubled mind. He got out from his bed, opening the window so wide to let the fresh Saturday morning air came into his small apartment room. The broken phone was laid on the floor just across him. He looked around his room. His lonely furniture. His small indoor plants on the window sill. Family photos, especially his parents and Vernon’s, on the refrigerator. Seokmin’s photo with his parents being one of them.

Jisoo shut his eyes, enjoying the warm sunshine on his hair.

He had decided. He would quit his job and move out. He wanted a house near the beach, with a dog to play with. He might not have the husband and kids now, but he would work on it. He had saved quite enough. He would find a job near his new home, a job that mostly brought enjoyment for him. He might befriended a lot of good neighbors, made some enemies like normal human dynamic, and probably found some people hot enough to be his potential partner until death did them apart.

He wanted to be happy.

He would forget Seokmin.

He would forget his soulmate.

Jisoo had enough.

He had enough of his heart controlling his actions. Now it’s time to let his brain took over. Jisoo wouldn’t tell Vernon’s family anything. He would also getting a new phone and not telling them either. He would cut Seokmin off entirely from his life.

His feet found their way to the refrigerator and he detached the photo with Seokmin in it. A gummy grin, just like his father’s, of an 8 year old boy wearing a party hat and eating a big piece of cake, sandwiched between his parents.

Jisoo caressed the photo lovingly and kissed it, sending a silent farewell to his one and only.

“I love you…”


	5. [Part 5]

His uncle was suddenly gone.

He remembered that time when he had called him, waking him up to ask for permission to woo this girl he had liked. It had been a normal banter exchanged between them. Casual talk, along with casual flirt, although Jisoo had sounded a bit annoyed by his interruption, but nothing was deemed out of ordinary. He remembered he had walked to school the day after, brimming full with confidence. Everything had been great in school, until the evening when he asked the girl out. She had said yes. He was swelled. Whole body felt like floating in the air. All things went just as smoothly as he had hoped.

Seokmin could not wait to tell the good news to his uncle. Could not wait to receive the congratulatory remarks in spirited voice from the other person. Could not contain his foolish grin while pushing the telephone buttons in his house, dialing the numbers he remembered the most.

_‘The number you are calling is no longer available—‘_

He froze before a frown appeared. What kind of joke was this? It was not even a day had passed since he dialed the same number, and it was picked up just fine, for God’s sake. He pushed the buttons again, convinced each number as he entered them.

The same announcement, again, was heard.

Throwing the phone in frustration, he rushed to his father.

“Papa!”

His father was snuggling with his mother on couch; both had lost in the movie they were watching. This was their routine after dinner time.

“Seokkie?”

“I can’t reach Joshua.”

He remembered his father’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

“What do you mean you can’t reach _Joshua_?”

It was his mother who’s asking. At that moment, Seokmin finally realized his mistake and quickly glanced an apology to his father. However, Seungkwan was always the one who’s fast at catching little thing like this. The fact that his father’s face was like an open book did not help at all.

“So you DO keep in touch with him, Seokmin?”

“Boo—“

He jerked away from his husband, feeling betrayed.

“Don’t touch me, Hansol Chwe! And don’t call me with my maiden surname; you put yours in my name so I assume you will never keep a secret from me! Ever! Let alone this big!”

“Mama, please, this is not Papa’s fault…”

“YAH! I DON’T HAVE A KID WHO DOESN’T LISTEN TO WHAT HIS OWN MOTHER TELLS HIM NOT TO DO! WHO ARE YOU?? GET OUT AND GO TO YOUR REAL MOTHER!”

“Mama, please-“

“Kwannie, baby…”

Seungkwan’s cheeks flushed in fury. There was no mistake that his husband was really disappointed by this occurrence. Vernon shifted his legs awkwardly, scooting over to Seungkwan to comfort him. Hand softly circled at his back. Not only Vernon, Seokmin also offered his mother a guilty hug, which he hesitantly accepted.

“I’m sorry, Mama, I’m so sorry…”

Seungkwan said nothing.

“I-it really is not Papa’s fault. I asked him to…I asked him to call Joshua for me…”

“…Why would you do that, Seokkie?”

“I-I can’t help it, Mama. I can’t really explain it to you, but I need…I _need_ to hear his voice, to get to know him, to meet him eventually. Mama, I-I-“

Seokmin was lost at words.

“I’m sorry, Mama, please be mad only at me, not Papa…”

Seungkwan heaved a deep sigh while ruffling Seokmin’s hair. He let his son snuggled his face to the crook of his neck. He let his husband kissed the side of his temple. Living with two biggest _children_ almost all of his life surely made him weak, made him became softer towards their antics. Even though what they had done was out of line, he could not find himself getting really angry at them.

They let Seungkwan cooled down by leading him to sit back on the couch. The conversation was also resumed to the main problem, although his mother clearly wouldn’t let the lying part died just like that. His father, though, insisted for them to move on.

“So, what happened, Seokkie?”

“I can’t reach him, Papa.”

“Did you dial his number correctly?”

“Yeah. Said it was unavailable. It must be a mistake, Papa, I called him last night-“

“Now why would you do that? It must be after midnight there! Don’t torture my big brother! He needs his sleep!”

“I know. I’m sorry. Anyway, he answered and we talked like usual. Everything seemed fine. I told him I needed his assurance about this girl I wanted to ask out, and he said he would support me whatever-“

“You _what_?”

Seokmin stopped talking the minute he saw the looks his parents were wearing. To call it a shock would be an understatement.

“I-I called him-“

“After that.”

“Need assurance about this girl I like?”

“You need his assurance to ask a girl out.”

“Well…yeah?”

“Oh my God, Seok..,” his mother groaned.

“W-What? It’s normal to ask your own uncle about that, right?”

“Why not _us_ , Kid? _Your parents_? Why should you ask _him_?” Vernon emphasized his words, pushing Seokmin further into confusion.

“B-b-because-why? What did I do??”

At that, his parents provided no answer. His father just sighed furiously, stated that he would try calling his parents about it before excusing himself. His mother rubbed his face, tiredness ghosting there like a long lost friend. His mother suddenly looked so old and exhausted; it weighed Seokmin’s heart down.

“Mama…,” he tugged Seungkwan’s shirt. “Mama, what did I do? Did I…did I hurt Joshua?”

Seungkwan lifted his hand to caress his son’s cheek. “You did, baby…”

“But why? I don’t understand…”

“You will. Someday.”

God, Seungkwan swore. This soulmate thing started to wear his family out.

“So, baby. This girl. She said yes?”

Seokmin nodded slowly.

“And you’re gonna call him to tell him about it?”

Again, he nodded.

Seungkwan closed his eyes. Now he also cursed the God up there for messing with his brother-in-law over the edge. Truthfully, he still felt guilty about his own big brother snatching Jisoo’s fiancé away like that. Now he felt guilty for trying to protect his son from a bleak future they might have together.

“So you’re still gonna go out with that girl?”

Seokmin frowned. “Why wouldn’t I?” he said it so sure.

 _This_. This was what Seungkwan had hoped for. For his son to be having normal relationships with other people while searching for his soulmate. Just like he had used to. Just like Vernon had used to. Just like any other people. But now, even that thought couldn’t help him feeling like he’s being selfish by exchanging Seokmin’s happiness with Jisoo’s.

“Seokkie. If…if Joshua asked you not to confess, what would you do?”

“Then I won’t,” his son stared right into his eyes.

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” another frown, but deeper. “I need his approval. Without it, then it’s a _‘no’_.”

“If it was me who said _‘no’_ , would you still confess to her?”

It took Seokmin by surprise. Because, if it had been his mother or father (or anyone else, literally), he would ignore it and still confessed to the girl. But not Jisoo. No. He _needed_ Jisoo to approve first. Period.

Shaken, his legs wobbled until he unknowingly sat down.

“…Mama, w-why do I need _him_ to approve?”

Sighing, Seungkwan sat beside his son and hugged him tightly, stroking the poor, confused boy’s head on his shoulder.

“Someday, this will all make sense to you, baby, someday…”


	6. [Part 6]

He remembered his father had come back to the living room with an equal confused look. He said he had called his parents. Apparently, Jisoo had told them that he’s moving to a new place and also got a new number, but he had not shared his address or his number. So, there was no way to contact him at all.

“How can he didn’t leave contact to any of you?” Seungkwan retorted.

“I don’t know! This is too sudden! Never once he mentioned about moving out and all that!” Vernon barked back at Seungkwan quite harshly. It was not a normal occurrence in this household. His locks got disheveled as he kept on messing with them in desperation. Vernon continued. “Mom said he didn’t say anything of his whereabouts, or any other specific thing. She asked why he wouldn’t share his number and he said—“

Seokmin could hear sadness in his father’s words.

“—he said, Vernon would ask and he didn’t want Vernon to know.”

The living room went quiet after that. Only ragged breathing of Vernon still lingered on. Seungkwan knew how close these two brothers were, so he did not dare to speak. He merely hugged his husband’s arm, soothing his tensed shoulder with his caring thumb.

“…My fault.”

It was their son.

“It must be my fault! Papa, he was fine when I called him last night! _He was fine_! I swear! What did I do?!” panicked now, with tears finally flowed down his cheeks and body shook nervously, Seokmin latched onto his parents, hugging them tightly. He was freaking scared. His breath was as ragged as his father’s earlier. “Papa, Mama, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

That was how Sofia, Seokmin’s little sister, had woken up and found her family downstairs. It was an odd view for her, seeing her family clung together and cried. Her brows furrowed. “Papa? Mama? Seokkie…? What’s wrong?” she asked. Her voice was so soft, filled with remaining drowsiness. They broke the hug to stare at the 10 year old. She got her face from Vernon and puffy, reddish cheeks from Seungkwan. She’s pretty in her pure white night gown.

“Oh baby…I’m sorry, did we wake you up?” Seungkwan came forward to lift her up. Instantly, she snuggled into her mother’s neck.

“Mama, are you all fighting…?”

“No, no, we’re not. We were just…talking,” Vernon leaned in to kiss his daughter’s cheek lovingly.

“Then why is Seokkie crying?”

Seokmin inhaled deeply, forcing a smile to his baby sister. “I’m crying because of my own stupidity, Sofia…,” he too leaned in. Their foreheads were touching each other. His sister’s powdery scent calmed him a bit. “Uncle Joshua’s gone and it was because of me…”

Frown, once again, appeared. Her small hands cupped her brother’s face so delicately. “But you like Uncle Joshua, Seokkie,” it was not a question, but a fact being stated.

“That I do.”

“Did you two fight?”

“No, I…I don’t know…”

“Don’t fight. Uncle Seungcheol said he once fight with Uncle Joshua, but they’re in good term now, so make up with him, Seokkie.”

“Sofia!” Seungkwan gasped.

“What?” Seokmin ignored his mother. “Why did Uncle Seungcheol and Uncle Joshua fight?”

“Mama told me not to tell you, Seokkie, but I don’t want you to fight with Uncle Joshua…,” she pouted. Seokmin looked at his parents again. Their looks were stern.

“Sofia, enough,” Vernon closed the conversation right then and there. These revelations were getting out of their hands already. Every lies they had made to protect Jisoo and Seokmin’s fate now came out like a flowing river, unable to be contained anymore. From a glance, Vernon could tell that Seungkwan was tired with all of these. It was no surprise, because he was too.

“Let’s go and put you back to bed, okay baby?” Seungkwan kissed his daughter and took her upstairs, leaving the other two men in the living room. He was not in the mood to be pushed by Seokmin right now. Their son might have thousand of questions in his smart head already. Let Vernon handled him instead.

With Seungkwan and Sofia gone, Vernon sighed, staring back at accusing glare directed to him. No one broke the silence yet, until Vernon, again, did that.

“Why am I guessing that you will ask me to phone Seungcheol-hyung for you?”

“Will you, Papa?”

“Believe me, Son, I’d love to let you know the truth. But you’re still 14. You’re too young,” his father shook his head.

“…What? What does it have to do with my age?!”

“The girl.”

“What?”

“The girl you asked out. Is she your soulmate?” his mother had asked the same.

“What does it have to do with-“

“Just answer me.”

“Well, _no_! No, she is _not_!”

“Thought so.”

“ _What…?_ ”

Seokmin swore, his parents might be toying with him by now. He just became more and more confused with their puzzling words. Everything just didn’t make sense anymore.

“Listen. I know I rarely act as your father, but now I ask you, _as your father_ , to date that girl happily, make a lot of friends, have a lot of lovers. Don’t worry about Joshua. I know my brother. He always comes out as the winner, no matter how harsh life is with him…”

“But Papa-“

Vernon cut him off.

“And when you’re older, I will do exactly what you want. I will call Seungcheol-hyung for you. You can ask him anything. You can even ask me.”

Seokmin was silent. Vernon could hear his son’s brain currently gearing up from outside his head. Contrary to his happy-go-lucky demeanor, his son was not a fool he set people to believe in. If any, he was the smartest in this family.

“When is ‘older’?”

_See?_

“20.”

“Too long. 15.”

“Don’t push your luck, Kid. 19.”

“17, no more.”

“17, final offer.”

They stared at each other. Then, they shook hands, just like two grownups having closed a business deal. One look and they knew this thing was serious.

17.

Seokmin had to wait until he was 17 to finally know everything about Jisoo. That meant 3 years more. 3 years would go by so fast. By that time, who knew, his uncle probably was already found.

Yeah, he could do that.


	7. [Part 7]

Turned out 3 years was a long hella time.

Seokmin did date the girl for a year or so. She was a nice and calm girl, the exact opposite of him. They balanced each other quite well. Their relationship was a serene one; almost never fought.

But that’s that.

They’d gone beyond kissing, and yet, something was lacking. Apparently, the two of them felt the same way. They broke up with equal consent when Seokmin went to high school in another district. Two months ago, he heard from his old classmate that the girl had finally found her soulmate. That was good. He was happy for her.

In high school, he entered its dorm. People there were nice, if not as loud as him. He met many new friends. Some he kept close until now. He even met his, dare-to-say, best friend, Soonyoung. Soonyoung’s soulmate, Wonwoo, was also a nice guy. They often hung out together, and when Soonyoung’s little brother, Jihoon, entered their school later on, they hung out with him too.

A small problem occurred, however, before Seokmin made a resolution to stay friends with Soonyoung. He had quite a big crush on the guy. After his breakup, he felt that there was an unexplained hole left gaping in his chest, and Soonyoung obliviously filled it to the brim with his kindness and cheery friendliness. With Soonyoung’s bright personality, it was natural for Seokmin to fell for him.

But he was glad his unrequited love did not prolong after about 3 months keeping it as a secret, because that was when a stranger’s arm held Soonyoung by the waist and pecked his chubby cheek while Seokmin was talking to him about last night’s TV show. It surely shocked Seokmin at first. But then a blushing Soonyoung introduced the stranger to him and it all made sense. Staring at the two of them happily chatting with each other, although broke his heart, Seokmin smiled and hoped that he, too, would find his soulmate.

Soonyoung met Wonwoo in 9th grade. They both then decided to choose the same high school so they could be together. Soonyoung also spoke of Jihoon a lot. Sometimes with a soft, caring older brother’s tone, sometimes with an annoyed sibling’s tone. However Soonyoung’s tone was, Seokmin could feel his best friend’s genuine affection towards him. The kid was a year younger than them, so when they’re in 11th grade, the very person finally came into his life, introduced himself as ‘the only sane one in their family’. It made Seokmin laughing so hard.

After that, whenever Soonyoung and Wonwoo went on a date, Seokmin hung out together with Jihoon, just the two of them. The kid was funny in his own, kind of harsh way. He especially loved it when Jihoon became sleepy and leaned on him, not giving an ounce care of the massive skinship between them like he always did.

But their relationship did not go beyond friends. Jihoon made it clear from the beginning that he was not interested in Seokmin and Seokmin also confessed that he was not either. Upon knowing this, somehow it made Seokmin more relaxed to be around Jihoon. He could touch him with no worry, nor awkwardness. In some relationships, love was not welcomed, and Seokmin was glad what they had was strictly platonic.

Moreover, Seokmin already noticed how Jihoon had been keeping an eye on one of those exchange students from China. The one with the most handsome feature anyone had ever seen before.

That, or Jihoon had to fight Mingyu, the student council president, on getting the other one.

Anyway, Seokmin’s 17 now. Several months to his 18th birthday, even. Although life in the dorm was very much time consuming, he had been waiting for his father to fulfill his promise day by day. The old man was on business trip since 2 months ago, something about opening a new branch in America or so. He just hoped the America his father referred to was California, specifically Los Angeles, so that he could ask him about Jisoo’s whereabouts.

Though, there was also a possibility that Jisoo had moved out of L.A.

Or out of California.

Or out of America.

Europe, maybe, with those canals and mountains.

He suddenly slammed his face onto an open book on the table, groaning lowly whenever his thoughts wander to Jisoo. He closed his eyes and there, he saw the face in the photo they had on their family’s wall: a happy, smiling face, with very kind eyes twinkling without pretenses. It made him shuddered, thinking how that same eyes had been the night Seokmin called to bring nightmare directly to him.

Did Jisoo cry? Did his eyes widened in fear, in shock? He did not understand any of it at that time, but growing up, he slowly but surely played a lot of _‘what if'_ scenarios in his head. Enough so that he kind of had this _suspicion_. The most impossible scenario laid bare in his mind, the one he hoped _not_ the right answer to all of his questions so far.

“ _Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth._ ”

Seokmin stiffened in his desk.

“What the fuck, Chan…,” he clicked his tongue.

“That’s what the book said, hyung,” the 10th grader defended himself.

“And how did you land a copy on Sherlock again?”

“Wonwoo-hyung lent it to me when I said I need a book for my English Lit Class!” he beamed blindingly.

Seokmin huffed. He was not surprised at all. Wonwoo was a living library, literally. You only needed to ask and he would conjure you a book out of thin air. Seokmin looked at his young roommate who had resumed reading in full concentration. Chan was always like that, doing everything with equal amount of passion, something that Seokmin had always admired from the kid.

“I’m more surprised that you, out of all people, know about Sherlock, hyung…” 

“One more word and this book on my desk will find a way to your head, Channie.”

And, of course, as the youngest in his circle of friends, Chan was also equally passionate in teasing his hyung’s patience whenever he could.

“You’re in a bad mood! That’s a rare thing!” Chan shifted his gaze from the page he was reading to the brooding face of Seokmin. “Now why are you in one, hyung?”

The answer did not come as directly as he thought. 

“After this summer break, I’ll be 12th grader—“

“And I’ll be 11th.”

“—my 18th birthday is coming in 6 months—“

“Plenty of time to plan a party,” Chan grinned.

“—and I haven’t heard anything from my dad!”

Instantly, the younger became worried. “Hyung, your dad is okay, right? Isn’t he working overseas?” his look was so genuine, Seokmin had to smile to straighten this miscommunication.

“No, no! He’s fine! Sorry for making you worry, Channie. He’s safe and healthy!”

“Thank goodness…”

“Let me rephrase that. What I meant was…years ago, my dad promised to do something for me. I need important information from him and he told me to wait until I’m 17. But I’m almost 18 already and he hasn’t told me anything yet! If I need to wait more than this, I’d die waiting!” Seokmin finished his sentence with a loud groan.

“Then call him, hyung.”

“Wha-? Here?”

“Yea,” Chan shrugged.

“Right now?”

The younger lifted an eyebrow, “Aren’t you gonna _die_ from waiting?” 

“Err, yeah?”

A sigh was heard. “Then why wait more?” he said. “Call him, hyung. Use your cell. Or skype. Or just beg the administration office for free international call. Go!”

Seokmin pondered for an hour before decided that Chan was right. He opened his laptop and try calling via skype. It was already night there, but not too late to place a call. He doubted his father had done eating his dinner by now anyway. Whenever the old man was away from home, his lifestyle became a bit messy, really. Seokmin had to wait for a minute or two until his father finally picked it up.

‘H’lo!’

“Papa.”

‘Seokkie! Hey Kid, how’s yor dey-‘

“Are you eating, Papa?” he laughed when his father gulped loudly.

‘That I am. Almost done, by the way. What happened, Kid? Is everything fine? How’s Mama and Sofia?’

“Mama complained that you’re not living healthy there, Papa,” Seokmin sighed. “If you don’t listen to him again, he said he would drag Sofia with him to airport and fly to see you in an instant.”

His father suddenly coughed.

‘Aah, my lovely Kwannie…,’ Vernon snorted. ‘Feisty and hot blooded. Doesn’t change even a bit after all these years, just becoming more and more pretty. Ah, don’t spill it to him I said this, Son, he hates it when I tell him he’s pretty, although that’s only me stating the fact.’

Seokmin laughed. He almost could imagine his father winked at him through the call. His parents were the main motivation for him to meet his soulmate.

“I won’t tell him. Besides, I’m calling you to charge an impending bill, Mr. Choi,” his voice was amused.

‘And what is that, Mr. Seokkie?’

“Uncle Seungcheol.”

There was only silence for seconds.

“ _Call him, Papa,_ ” he heard his father held his breath. So blatantly forgot.

‘I’m in New York. I can’t.'

“PAPA!”

‘That’s why, _you_ call him,’ he continued. ‘I’ll type his number here, hold on.’ And then, some words and numbers appeared on the text section not long after.

“ _M-me?_ ”

‘Yeah. He’s a good guy, Seok. His soulmate, Jeonghan, is too. Just tell him you got the number from me and that you had permission from your mother to call, okay?’

“…You really told Mama about this, didn’t you?” although his father could not see, Seokmin narrowed his eyes suspiciously, attacking him with accusing tone which clearly reached Vernon as the man scoffed hard.

‘Well you’re free to not believing me, but _I did_. The very night we made that deal,’ a lump of guilt immediately set itself inside Seokmin’s stomach. He didn’t intend to offend his father. But before he could apologize, his father cut him off. ‘Seokkie, I gotta go. I’m sorry. I miss you and tell your mother I’ll be back next month.’

“Okay. I’m sorry too. I miss you, Papa,” he smiled.

With a loud good night smack, his father disconnected. Seokmin stared at the numbers his father had left him before and gulped. _This was it_ , his inner voice reprimanded him. _One of the key to Joshua…_


	8. [Part 8]

He waited until 3 dials for a heavy, thick voice of a man greeted him. Seokmin decided to change to his cell for this call, because he felt the conversation would be way too personal than his last call with his father, so using cell would make it far easier for him to hide from public eyes. He was settled in the corner of his dorm building, just outside of his and Chan’s room. He made sure nobody was around first before calling.

“Uncle Seungcheol?”

‘Who ‘dis?’ his uncle might be frowning.

“Um, I’m Seokmin, your nephew. My mother is Seungkwan-“

‘AAAAAHHH!’ Seokmin would be lying if he said he wasn’t startled by the sudden scream. ‘SEOKKIE! Hey, Hannie, Hwayoung-ah, Seokkie’s calling!’

‘Seokkie? You mean Seokmin, Seungkwan’s son?’

‘Is that my cousin, Dad!?’

‘Now what’re you doing, little miss?’

‘Gimme the phone, Daddy, I wanna talk to him. This is a rare moment and I wanna know him!’

‘This is _our_ rare moment. Let me talk to my nephew first, _geez_!’

‘ _Ugh_ , you’re so unfair! Seokkie, this is Choi Hwayoung, your cousin! Leave your number with Daddy so we can talk later, okay?’ the girl shouted over the receiver.

Seokmin was confused whether he should reply or keep silent to his cousin whom he just knew by now. Moreover, he was so _damn_ confused why they were acting as if he’s the most wanted person to talk to. This was the first time Seokmin ever called them, for Heaven’s sake, it’s not like they were close to him or something.

‘Now, now, Hwayoung-ah, don’t talk like that to your father…,’ another man’s voice was heard. Seokmin guessed it was Uncle Jeonghan, Uncle Seungcheol’s soulmate that his father told him about earlier. His voice was deeper than Uncle Seungcheol’s, but his tone was gentler, reminding Seokmin of his own mother.

Hwayoung kept pouting towards her father’s back while her mother just shook his head disappointingly, continued feeding Hyunki, the youngest in Choi household. The 2 year old boy was a happy accident nobody had expected before, but nevertheless brought ultimate bliss to their little family.

‘Sorry ‘bout that, Seokkie. In my defense, this _is_ a rare moment,’ his uncle got back to him. ‘I think the last time I saw you was when you were 5 and fell into that river near your house, and Kwannie called me crying his eyes out for help.’

Of course, by the time Seungcheol was there, the little boy was already safe and sound.

“I…don’t remember,” Seokmin confessed.

‘Don’t sweat it. Anyway,’ they changed topic so fast, Seokmin had to keep up with him. ‘Whassup? How’re you and Kwannie and your sister…hng, _Sophie_ …?’ Seungcheol let the last word hanging since he honestly found it more difficult to remember non-Korean names (and sometimes he cursed that husband of his little brother, like, couldn’t they be consistent using either Korean _or_ English?)

“ _Sofia_ ,” Seokmin corrected. “They’re fine, Uncle, we’re fine.”

‘And your father?’

“He’s also fine. He’s in America right now.”

‘Oh, really? Is he working with Jisoo there?’

“No, he-“

‘CHEOL!’

Seokmin immediately clammed up. It was Jeonghan’s voice.

‘ _Oh shi_ —sorry, I shouldn’t mention his name to you.’

Seokmin cleared his throat. “Actually,” he started. “I called you because of him. But before that, I need you to know that Papa was the one who gave me your number and both Mama and Papa already knew all of this. I made a deal with Papa and he told Mama about it.”

‘A deal?’ Seungcheol was not sure where this conversation would lead to.

“He said when I’m 17, I can call to ask you something,” there was a pause. “Thus, here I am.”

‘O…kay…,’ he noticed his uncle was being careful now. ‘And it’s about…?’

“Why did you and Uncle Joshua fight?”

Seungcheol raised his eyebrows.

‘We did?’

“Uncle, I’m being serious here…”

‘So am I. I swear we didn’t— _oh_.”

He stole a glance at Jeonghan, then back to the receiver, finally realized which fight his nephew had meant. ‘Ah…,’ Seokmin could hear his uncle scratched the back of his head. ‘It was so long ago, I forgot about it already. Well, here goes. You know my soulmate and my husband here, Jeonghan?’

“Yeah?”

‘He was Jisoo’s fiancé.’

Seokmin thought his heart had suddenly stopped beating.

‘Cheol? Cheol, what happens?’

‘We met at their wedding day.’

‘Cheol!’

‘I came with Seungkwan and he was introduced to me by Jisoo. By the time our eyes met, our timers ticking down and became zero. At that, we looked at each other, aware of what had happened, and then we turned to Jisoo. He had this…this empty face, blank from any emotion. After that, he cancelled the wedding on the spot.’

‘Why are you telling Seokkie all this-‘

‘He asked me to-‘

‘Shut up, stupid Cheollie, gimme the phone-‘

A bit of struggle later, Jeonghan managed to kick Seungcheol out of the phone.

‘Hi, Seokkie.’

“…You _what_?”

Seokmin could hear his own voice trembled as anger slowly shook his body. Jeonghan sighed as response.

‘That explanation was so bad-‘

“You _left_ him? On your _wedding_ day? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR _FUCKING_ MIND?!”

“Hyung! What happened? You okay out there? You swore y’no!” Chan yelled from their room. Seokmin, however, ignored him for good.

‘Listen to me first, Seokmin-ah, please?’ the man on the phone sounded desperate. ‘It’s not like what you think. It was actually the opposite. _He_ left me.’

Seokmin’s breath hitched.

‘After that happened, Jisoo turned away and left. He’s abruptly cancelling the wedding. He even told the guests to—I quote— _‘get the fuck outta here ‘cos no wedding’s gonna happen today’_. Jisoo was mad, Seokmin-ah, so damn mad at me, at us…’

Behind Jeonghan, Seokmin could hear the sound of a little boy happily laughing, probably from whatever random silliness his father did.

“Then why didn’t you apologize to him?”

‘Do you really think that was not the very first thing that came out of my mouth the moment he turned his heels?’ Jeonghan spat. ‘Dammit, Kid, I even _begged_ him. _‘Soulmate doesn’t mean anything’_ , I cried to him. _‘I love you. Only you. Don’t leave me.’_ ” He then laughed bitterly. ‘He didn’t even look at me. He congratulated me in the iciest voice I never knew he had before. I cried and cried. I loved him enough to marry him even though we’re not soulmates. Do you think I’m the type who will fall in love with this dork, seconds after meeting him, and leave my fiancé just like that?’

‘Hey! I’m here!’

‘Shut up, Cheollie, you _are_ a dork!’

‘ _Yah_! I’ll remember this tonight in our bedroom!’

‘ _Aissh_ , this stupid man—‘ Seokmin didn’t want to, but he couldn’t help blushing. ‘Anyway, that was the real story. I begged him to stay but he left me. After that, I locked myself up about a month or so.’

“Then, how come Uncle Seungcheol was the one who fought with Uncle Joshua?”

‘That’s because he’s a dork.’

‘ _HEY!_ ’

‘He couldn’t stand looking at me locking myself up and refused to see anyone. After a month, he had enough. He said he wouldn’t let his soulmate died miserably. He had been waiting for me all of his life and he wouldn’t let me throw myself away just because another guy left me at my wedding day. Then, he took me to see Jisoo.’

A pregnant silence slipped in here, before Jeonghan continued.

‘We trespassed his apartment, actually. He was there, sitting casually in his living room, as if he had been waiting for us. Seungcheol, being a doofus he was, punched Jisoo instantly—‘

‘Why are you keep badmouthing me, Hannie!?’

‘—and told him loud and clear that, if Jisoo didn’t get himself together, he’d take me.’

Seokmin gulped, “…And then?”

‘Nothing happened. I cried again and he just sat there quietly. Seungcheol then stated that I was his from now on and Jisoo could never hurt me again, or else. I tried to get closer to him, but he backed away whenever I took a step. So we just…stood there. I apologized to him again. He…he whispered something to me. I couldn’t make out what he said exactly, since his voice was too soft. Then Seungcheol ushered me to leave.’

The man heaved a sigh.

‘And thanks to your stubborn Uncle Cheol here, I am happy right now.’

“Have you guys ever met after, umm, you’re married?” Seokmin asked.

‘Yeah, once. When you’re born, Seokkie,’ his voice became tender. ‘We met at the hospital. He hid behind Vernon and didn’t even spare a glance at us. We left when he came, so no interaction, if that’s what you’re asking.’

“I see…now it’s clear,” albeit could not be seen, Seokmin nodded. “You know, Uncle Jeonghan, I think he didn’t leave you to make you suffer. Joshua probably realized if you’re married to him that day, you might regret not giving your soulmate a chance just because he came a minute too late…”

Jeonghan chuckled. If he noticed how Seokmin did not call Jisoo with ‘uncle’ anymore, he did a good job to shut his mouth up about it.

“I’m serious, Uncle. I know Josh. He’s too kind for his own good. He might be mad, but I guess he also suffered for leaving you like that.”

‘I know…,’ Jeonghan exhaled loudly. ‘It took me 2 years and the birth of Hwayoung to realize it…’

Seokmin smiled, “I’m so glad you don’t hate him anymore.”

‘How can I? I loved him honestly. And he gave me this wonderful life with wonderful children and wonderful husband. If there’s one regret, is that I could not thank him enough…’

Each word from Jeonghan made Seokmin’s smile got wider and wider. He felt a happy jolt rushing through his spine. Hearing Jisoo got complimented like that made his chest strangely warm. There was no doubt that he loved hearing people saying good things about Jisoo. He wondered why.

‘Seokmin-ah, is it okay for me to ask? It’s already rare, you calling us, then you’re asking about Jisoo and me. Did something happen?’

“Ah,” he was pulled back to the bitter truth. “It’s just that, Joshua has been missing for 3 years.”

‘He _what_ now?’

“Moved out of his apartment and left no contact at all, not even to my grandparents nor Papa.”

‘That bastard…why he keeps leaving people like that. I swear this is his kink or something by now.’

A cough cut them off. ‘Care to explain why my husband is talking about _kink_ with my nephew in front of me and my children? Should I be worried?’ Seungcheol frowned when Jeonghan turned his body to look at his face.

‘Baby, Jisoo’s been missing for 3 years with no contact even to Vernon.’

‘He _what_ now?’ Seungcheol blinked.

‘That bastard, I know.’

Jeonghan then got back to his nephew.

‘Listen, Seokmin-ah. You probably notice that it’s his habit to disappear whenever problems arise. So this is him running away. I don’t know what problem it is now, but all I know that there is one absolute thing to stop someone with this habit.’

He nodded again.

‘Catch him.’


	9. [Part 9]

Now, _‘catch’_ was a very simple word. In practice, however, nothing was ever laid that conveniently onto a human’s lap. First of all, Seokmin had no clue whatsoever about where Jisoo had been living these past 3 years. No number to call. No single person to ask to.

After he hung up with Uncle Jeonghan (and after he had to spent a few more minutes with his whiny Uncle Seungcheol and his equally whiny cousin, Hwayoung; like father like daughter), Seokmin told everything he had heard to his father the next day. He had spent the night before, thinking very hard about how his life was going to be. They talked pretty long about the plan Seokmin had as the outcome of his late night deep thinking. He informed his father about the fight from Uncle Jeonghan and Uncle Seungcheol’s sides. Whenever Jisoo’s name was said, his father had this sad, soft sigh released from between his lips. It broke Seokmin’s heart. He must love Jisoo so much.

‘He was the one who told me to _‘man up’_ and ask your mother out on a date, y’no?’ Vernon answered, when his son asked him about it. ‘If it wasn’t for him, you probably wouldn’t even been born, Seokkie.’

Despite the laughter, Seokmin could feel the love and gratitude poured into that one sentence. Somehow, it reminded him of Uncle Jeonghan’s words before.

“Seems like he’s very good at it…”

‘It?’ his father inquired.

“At making people happy.”

‘Yeah…,’ another sigh. ‘Yeah, he is, he is so good at it…’

“But what about him?” Seokmin rushed, not letting a break to be caught. “Who’s gonna make _him_ happy?”

Vernon said nothing. Yet, deep inside, he did not like where this conversation was going to. He could almost hear Seungkwan’s nagging in the back of his head, reprimanding him to stop and turn around now. Though, it was impossible. Vernon believed that they had somehow reached the point of no return. All of them.

“…Can I, Papa?”

‘SEOK-!’

“Can I make him happy, Papa, please?” his voice wavered.

‘This- _No_! I mean-this is crazy-!’

“Papa-“

‘ _HE’S YOUR UNCLE!_ ’ Vernon shouted from the top of his lungs. This was what he and Seungkwan had tried to avoid all of his son’s life. It couldn’t be a futile attempt, could it? ‘ _HE’S YOUR **FUCKING UNCLE!** HIS BLOOD IS THE SAME AS MINE! YOU CAN’T—HE CAN’T—_‘

“Papa…”

And then, silence.

Seokmin did not say anything, merely hearing a gasp and soft sob coming to his ear as his father trying to breathe. It hurt, how his father sounded so frustrated by his confession, but none of it would make Seokmin back away. He always had this suspicion, even before the fated event 3 years ago. Nevertheless, he decided it was for the best to not tell a single soul about it. It was, after all, a risky option, no matter how trusting the other person was. See, not even his own father could take it, if looking at how he went breakdown from him asking if he could be the one who took care of Jisoo.

‘You can’t…you guys can’t…,’ he sobbed.

“Papa, I’m sorry, I’m very, very sorry…”

Surprisingly, he then heard a chuckle.

‘…But what the _fuck_. You’ve decided, right?’

Seokmin’s eyes widened.

‘You call me after you’ve decided on it. And whatever your mother and I say, it won’t waver your decision. You’re always like that, stubborn little shit,’ Vernon rubbed his temple. ‘I hate it. I _hate_ how you call me first to test the water before you tell your mother. Shit, Son, I’m old and tired. Why can’t you just forget Josh already? It’s been 3 damn years…’

He knew his father was blabbering, so he let him be.

‘3 whole damn years…I’m tired…’

Yes, 3 whole damn years Seokmin had waited patiently, even long before that if only his father had known better. He lived his life as a normal high school student. He had a lover. He had many, many friends. Made some not-so-serious foes, probably friendly-rivals at most. He got a crush, which then turned into his best friend. He went to blind dates, sometimes did not even go back to the dorm after the date. He slept with a few people when he needed to ease his lonely heart, but never the same person twice. Boys, girls; he did not care. He got himself several part-time jobs, ignoring the school rules about it.

He drank in hide, but never too much, since they’re still underage, and Wonwoo, who was not fond of drinking, always reprimanded him whenever he reached for one glass too many. Soonyoung was a light drinker, so he almost always fell asleep after two and a half can of beer. Wonwoo did not worry about his boyfriend. It was always Seokmin whom he worried the most.

“Watch out, Seok.”

“It’s only 3 cans, Won, what’re you so timid for? Live a little. Drink!”

“No, I don’t want it,” the man shrugged. “You’re good at handling bitter things. That’s why I’m worried about you. People like you are the one who suffer himself until it’s way too late. I don’t want that happen to you.”

Seokmin had thought, with an obvious bleeding in his heart, that, indeed, his best friend’s soulmate was a good guy. Too good, they two almost killed him with their sincere kindness. He threw up after that and let Wonwoo, now nagging like his own mother, helped him to get to his bed.

3 whole damn years he was happy. Whenever he called his home, there’s always his father, his mother, and his little sister receiving it with joy. A lot of _‘I miss you’_ s and _‘I love you’_ s was exchanged in every call. In school, his grade was not bad and he was loved by his teachers for his bright personality. His friends were the best suitable for him, made him laugh every single day. Days gone by with him smiling earnestly, content on how his life was going.

But deep, deep down, at the bottom corner of his heart, he kept a locked space that he had reserved from a long time ago for Jisoo. Nobody could replace that. Not even his ex and one night stands. 

When he was showered with love, he silently thought,

_‘Who loves Josh?’_

When his family chatted happily with him, missing him, he thought,

_‘Who’s missing Josh?’_

And so on, and so on, until he could not do anything, feel anything, could not be happy, without thinking of Jisoo’s happiness. Whenever he laughed, he wondered if Jisoo laughed too, there, somewhere. He hoped so.

The more he knew about his uncle, the more he regretted that night, the more he wanted to turn back time and fixed everything. The more he wanted to run to him, touched his face lovingly, wiped his tears away, and chanting _‘I’m sorry’_ until Jisoo grew tired of hearing it. The more he wanted to hug him, and the more he wanted to make Jisoo forget about all of his sufferings he had in his life, filling his head until he could not think about anything other than Seokmin’s crushing weight on his petite body, Seokmin’s heavy scent intoxicating them both, paving way to their longing release…

When Seokmin woke up with a morning wood, he wanted to kill himself. He was damn aware it was not… _normal_. This unhealthy obsession for Jisoo was getting more and more dangerous. Excruciating. He felt like he _dirtied_ Jisoo every time his mind wandered to the darker side of his brain. It was mad. They had never met. He was his paternal uncle. Yet, he could not promise himself for not touching Jisoo the moment they met. 

It was illogical.

You could not _love_ your own uncle.

Especially not the one whom you only talked with through phone since you could remember. His corrupted mind then went on to how good Jisoo’s voice was, soft spoken and kind, sometimes almost sultry to his ear. Numerous times he jerked off using the memory of it. Looking at his own cum, he felt like a living trash.

He must be crazy.

He must.

“Papa, I am too…I’m _tired_ …”

Seokmin sobbed loudly. His father was shocked hearing him cry. Stream of tears was now staining his cheeks. He did not care the slightest that Soonyoung, Wonwoo and Jihoon were behind him, chatting animatedly with Chan. He did not know when exactly they entered the room. Upon hearing Seokmin’s sob, the chat instantly reduced to silence.

‘Seokkie…’

“Papa, I didn’t choose to fall in love with him. But I _love_ him. I _love_ him _so damn much_ it hurts. Papa, help me…help me to forget about him, help me to forget about this pain… _please_ …”

Quickly, he became a sobbing mess. His whole body trembled and his nose ran. Seokmin let out all the feelings he had suppressed for these many, many years. Begging to his father in the lamest way possible. But then, a hand was on his shoulder. That warm hand calmed him down a bit, forcing Seokmin to sharply breathe in some air into his lung. He didn’t need to see whose hand it was, for he was sure it was his best friend’s. The others also kept quiet, due to the atmosphere was too thick after all to chat about mere mundane topic.

‘My son…,’ Vernon also cried. Seokmin hoped his father had found a secluded area upon taking his call and not actually crying on his desk, in front of all his coworkers. ‘I’m sorry, we’re sorry…baby, my baby, my son, we’re so, so sorry…’

“It hurts, it _fucking_ hurts, Papa…I don’t understand, but it _hurts_ …help me… _help me_ …” His voice was hoarse and eventually faded to a choked gasp full of desperation. It tore Vernon’s heart into pieces.

‘Don’t cry, hey, don’t cry, please? You’re my big boy. You’re 17, you’re a big boy. What will your friends say if they see you crying like this, honey?’

“They’re all behind me right now and I don’t give a damn what they say,” he sobbed again.

Soonyoung moved his hand to wrap his arms around his shoulders, leaning his head into the crook of Seokmin’s neck while keeping his eyes closed, praying that whatever pain his best friend was feeling right now could be subdued by his comforting gesture. It seemed to work, as Seokmin slowly tried to wipe his tears from his cheek and stabilizing his choked breath. Wonwoo also helped wiping Seokmin’s tears away using his oversize sweater paw, did not care a bit whether Seokmin’s tears would ruin the fabric. Jihoon and Chan stayed quiet on their respective spots. They were not that good with calming people down, so they gave the role up to the professionals instead. Wonwoo and Soonyoung were so good at it, much to their relief.

‘Then they must be very good friends,’ his father forced a laugh and Seokmin hummed in agreement.

They decided to put their conversation on hold for a moment. Both were trying to regain their own selves. Vernon blew his nose with his hankie. Seokmin took a several deep breaths. He also patted Soonyoung’s head lovingly, telling him indirectly that he was okay now. Soonyoung pouted, but let Seokmin go after he left a peck on his cheek. Wonwoo ruffled Seokmin’s hair, and then joined the other three to sit on Chan’s bed, back to talking in a low hush, trying to minimize the noise.

“Papa, you’re okay?”

‘Yeah, better. You?’

“I’m okay. They cheered me up, so I’m okay…”

‘Good. That’s good.’

“So, Papa, I’m calling you to tell you about my plan after school.”

‘Okay…?’

“In one year, I will graduate—“

‘Hmm.’

“—and I’ll look for Josh.”

Vernon hitched his breath.

‘What about college?’

“Postpone. I still want to be a pediatrician, but if anything worse happen, I can use my voice to earn some money. At the last school festival, two agencies actually scouted me. I got their cards here as safety line.”

‘You’re gonna go to L.A.?’

“I’ll start from there, yes.”

Again, his father sighed. _The sound of resignation_ , Seokmin thought. It must be also hard for him, torn between his brother, his son—

‘And what about your mother?’

—and his husband.

“Summer break is not over yet. I’ll come home tomorrow, first thing in the morning, and tell him by myself,” it was scary how calm and confident he sound, in contrast of how messy he was minutes ago.

‘And if he said _‘no’_?’

“Then I will still go. I’ll do anything to find him, Papa, even if that means I’ll run away from you. I _will_ find Josh.”

‘God…’

Vernon messed his honey colored locks even further. He had lost his brother. Now he lost his son too. He had lost him.

‘You’re serious about him, aren’t you?’

Seokmin tightened his jaw.

“Dead serious.”


	10. [Part 10]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I typed this in a hurry, gonna edit this later. Sorry for the bad grammar and such ^^;

His journey finally started, as graduation had become a yesterday’s topic. After confiding his intention to his father, Seokmin’s vision became clear enough for him to lay the larger picture with side plans, incase his initial one turned out to be a failure. He knew now what he aimed for. He aimed for Jisoo at all cost.

The day after he called his father, he did not waste any time to go back to his home. He did not even wait for Seungkwan to hug his arms fully around his son, clearly happy for this sudden surprise, until Seokmin opened his mouth and made everything turned sour quickly. Conversation that day now had muddled into a big, hazy memory with a lot of screaming, trembling touches and tears inside of his head. A whole lot of tears.

In the end, Seokmin was just glad that his parents allowed him, willingly or not, to take this kind of future. A future they had been cautiously trying to prevent all of these years. 

As the compensation, Seokmin upped his game in education and social life. His once half-assed motivation now turned into straight A’s in almost all subjects (some were A- and one B; well, nobody was perfect after all). With the raise of grades, came the raise of popularity in the teacher’s room. Almost all teachers liked him enough, they ended up giving him recommendation letters way too many than any university ever needed. 

By these acts of kindness, he felt loved and blessed. He thanked each person earnestly in his heart.

Seokmin also got back in the game a little. He dated to blow some steam off his busy life. One older boy, his part-time job’s colleague, made a move on him and he accepted lightly, but it ended in a month because he, as cliché as it sounded, cheated on him. It was like a low-budget movie, finding your boyfriend being screwed by your manager in the break room. Seokmin merely blinked, closed the door, and then never came back to that place again.

Then a girl his junior, classmate of Chan, came after. They went out for about 2-3 months, Seokmin quite forgot, before he broke it up immediately after realizing that Chan was the one who fell for her. It was not right to steal your roommate’s crush just because you need someone as a temporary substitute.

Luckily, they hadn’t gone through the second base at that time. If it had been the boy, he would kneel in front of Chan for days until he was forgiven.

Despite all recommendations he acquired, only one university accepted his unusual condition of late enrollment. Since the start, he laid his intention bare, only to earn a disappointed scoff from the interviewer. He did not blame them. It was unheard of, to actually start a year after he got accepted. This was the last university which invited him, as he was already rejected by the other 5 offers.

“You…want to start next year?”

“Yes,” he nodded in assurance.

“That’s insane!”

The Head of Department in the middle of the table raised his arm to silence the others.

“May I ask why?”

“I need to find someone in America.”

“I assume that person’s important, then?”

Seokmin nodded again, “My uncle.”

“And why do you need to sacrifice your one year to find him?”

“Because I love him.”

The room quickly filled with harsh gasps and suspecting murmurs. Their looks ranged between disgusted and flabbergasted, with the only exception was The Head who, amazingly, maintained his poker face with a kind smile on his face. 

“Now, how should I react to this crime confession?”

“I will find him,” Seokmin’s determination did not falter a bit. “Even if I have to turn every nooks and crannies in every town in America, I _will_ find him.”

One look to this young man’s eyes, however ill that intention was, all of them knew he was dead serious. The Head folded his arms, went into a deep thought silently. It was in the university’s rule book to help police in crime investigation in any legal way possible, but nothing was said about this kind of situation. To love your own uncle, even admitting it to strangers, must be a damn big reason behind that. 

“Fine,” The Head sighed.

“But, Sir-!”

“We’re only responsible of crime exist within our precinct. What happens at their own home, if not a loss of either two, albeit _morally_ wrong—“ he glanced at the young man, warning him. “—is not our responsibility. You got that, Seokmin-ssi? We will not tarnish our reputation by accepting you next year into our department now, won’t we?”

A smile made its way to Seokmin’s face. “No, Sir, you won’t,” he replied, gaining a hand offered to him.

“Then welcome to SNU College of Medicine, Seokmin-ssi.”

 

After he bagged his interview (and of course passed his exam in flying color), things at home calmed down a bit. His mother looked more relieved, knowing his son actually cared about his study. Whilst his mother hugged him tightly, his father patted his back twice, looking at him with pride. His sister snuggled into him, dirty blonde head rested on his chest comfortably. Sofia had grown taller and more beautiful every single day. Seokmin almost could not find that sleepy 10 year old girl in her night gown again when he parted them away just to look at her face intently. His fingers caressed her cheek in gentle manner.

“Damn…how can you be so beautiful…?”

“Have you ever looked at the mirror, stupid oppa, you’re not that bad either,” she hit his shoulder jokingly, laughing and holding back her tears at the same time.

“No, I’m serious! You better not hang out with bad guys, okay? I won’t be there to protect you!” Seokmin held up his index finger with a stern look as a warning.

Sofia rolled her eyes. “ _Geez_ , like am gonna,” she laughed. “Besides, Chan-oppa’s gonna be there for me, so you don’t need to worry, Seok-oppa!”

Well, that caught him off guard.

“Wait, _what_?”

“Now, now, come here for a second, Seokkie…,” it was Soonyoung who dragged him away from his sister, both hands tightly gripping Seokmin’s wrist.

“ _Chan_?? What the-? Hey, lemme go, Soonie! Sofia, whaddya mean— _CHANNIE, GET OFF OF MY BABY SISTER_! DON’T HOLD HER HAND LIKE THAT!”

“Calm down, boy,” Soonyoung laughed. Only after there was enough distance between them to ensure Seokmin could not tear Chan apart, limb from limb, he let his grip on Seokmin’s wrist loosened.

“ _She’s dating him_??”

“Did you just realize it now? Wow, what a brother you are, Seokkie.”

“So she _IS_ dating him??! I won’t allow—“

“Hey-hey- _HEY_! Relax, will you? Chan’s a good kid. What’re you afraid of anyway? He won’t break your sister’s heart—”

“Well, he _better_! IF HE BREAKS MY SISTER’S HEART, I SWEAR I’LL KILL HIM!” other people at that airport turned their heads to watch the commotion. Soonyoung slapped his own face from both frustration and embarrassment. “I’M GONNA CUT HIM INTO PIECES AND FEED HIS EYEBALLS TO FISHES IN HAN RIVER! _**YOU HEARD ME, LEE CHAN???**_ ”

“OKAY, DOWN, BOY!” Soonyoung held Seokmin’s waist with all his strength this time, pushing his best friend to back off even way further. Chan, obviously heard everything, just grinned cheerfully and gave Seokmin a huge ‘O’ using both of his arms above his head, a universal sign of understanding.

With a loose laughter, Soonyoung forced Seokmin to sit down on one of the benches. Around them, strangers were calmly waiting for their call or hurriedly catching their flights. Seokmin would not fly for about 3 hours later, though, so he had time to spare with his family and friends like this.

“They’ve been dating for months now and you just realized it now. You must’ve been blinded by Joshua,” he mocked his best friend. Yet, his hand was patting Seokmin on his back to soothe his sudden outburst.

“Do they?” Seokmin growled. “And here I thought he had a crush on one of my exes.”

“Huh? That’s new,” Soonyoung blinked. He had never heard this story before. “Which one?”

“The last girl.”

“ _Aaaah_ …,” it hit his memory. The image of that girl when Chan told him about his concern of Seokmin’s latest relationship popped up suddenly in his head. Pretty as she was, yet also full of thorns. “Naaah, he put that facade so that you can break up with her.”

“Excuse me?” Seokmin squinted.

“That girl was a fake, dude. Channie knew her. Had bad friends, bad reputation too. She’s not good for you. Once he witnessed her went into a love hotel with a much older dude. He was worried sick of you, so he took actions to his own hands.”

Upon hearing this, Seokmin pressed his lips into a thin line, then he looked over to Chan. The said boy was talking with Sofia. Whatever he told her making the girl laughed loudly. Soonyoung followed his vision.

“I didn’t know that…,” he whispered.

“He’s a good kid, Seokkie,” Soonyoung smiled. “Trust your sister to him.”

“Won’t be that easy, Soonie, she’s my baby sister,” he shrugged his shoulder. Eyes darted back to his best friend. “But I know he’s a good kid. As his roommate, I vouch on that.” When he grinned, Soonyoung grinned back at him.

They spent some time just like that. Sitting side by side on the airport bench in silence, serenely watching people they had known all their lives gathered together not too far from them. Seokmin felt a hand lay upon his, so he gripped that offered warmth without hesitation. The warmth that, hundred times in the past, had comforted him, had been there for him, through the best and the worst of everything, thick and thin. The warmth that, soon, he would leave to search for his uncle in a city far away from home.

“Do you know I used to have a crush on you?”

Soonyoung smiled. “I know,” he swiped the back of Seokmin’s hand with his thumb.

“Good. I need you to know how much you’re precious to me.” 

Soonyoung’s thumb on his hand kept swiping lovingly, making him relaxed.

“How’s you and Wonu?” he asked.

“Great. We’re great.”

“So, different cities, huh?”

“Yeah…,” Soonyoung clicked his tongue. ‘Annoyed’ was the right term to describe his feelings right now. “He suddenly said he wanted to study Cinematography in Seoul. One day before graduation. One _fucking_ day. That _fucking_ bastard…”

“Don’t be like that. It’s good he has _anything_ he wants to do, knowing Wonu!” Seokmin rolled his eyes. His best friend’s soulmate was notorious for being ‘aimlessly living’, he made even his own mother apologized to Soonyoung and assured his future son-in-law that they could live with them in worst scenario. Though, probably that scenario would not need to occur now since Wonwoo had shown interest in movie making. Honestly, _anything_ was great, as long as it made his lazy ass do something. “And what about you, Soonie? What’re you gonna do? I’ve never heard your plan after graduation…”

“…home,” he mumbled the word.

“What?” clearly, Seokmin didn’t catch it.

“Namyangju,” he said it again, louder this time. “I’ll go home after seeing you off.”

“Oh. Are you gonna take your father’s farm then?”

“No. I’ll help them for a while, of course. When Wonu and I are ready, I’ll go back here and resumed pursuing my dream to be a dancer.”

Seokmin, however, frowned upon hearing it.

“Ready? For what?”

Soonyoung had this annoying smirk flashed at him before he cowered low, forcing Seokmin to mimic his gesture with an apparent scowl. Confused, yet also very curious. It must be a top secret, since his best friend also whispered carefully to his ear.

“Don’t tell anyone, promise? Even Wonu doesn’t know yet—”

Seokmin just scowled deeper.

“—but I’m pregnant.”

.  
.  
.

_** "YOU WHAT???!!!” ** _

“SSSH, SSH!!! OH MY GOD, SEOK-!”

Quite literally, the _whole_ airport stopped living their lives and focusing only on the pair. That, of course, including Wonwoo, who blinked and looked at Soonyoung, trying to figure out what the commotion was all about.

“HOW COME YOU NOT TELL US SOONER??! OH MY GOD!! CONGRATULATIONS!!”

“SEOKMIN, STOP IT!!”

“YOU’RE GONNA BE A MOTHER! WONU, WONU! COME HERE, GODDAMMIT! COME HERE AND HUG ME, YOU’RE GONNA BE A FATHER, WONU! COME HERE AND HUG ME, BOTH OF YOU, BEFORE I EMBARRASS MYSELF BY CRYING ALONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS FUCKING AIRPORT, GODDAMMIT!”

Soonyoung just groaned while his palm rested on his face, covering his own embarrassment. Wonwoo was still processing what the effing fuck just happened as his legs made way by themselves to Seokmin. Arms and bodies catching each other, holding tightly until it suffocated Wonwoo. Seokmin might be around the same height as him, but his arms were way stronger, Wonwoo had to make sure he didn’t choke him off, at least not until he could move towards his soulmate, who’s standing awkwardly in a very deep red face, keeping his gaze on him.

“…Is that true?” he almost breathed the word in disbelief.

Soonyoung stuttered when answering him, “I-I was planning to tell you on the way to Namyangju, but _this idiot_ here clearly has no respect nor delicacy for secrecy-“

His blabbering was only halted by Wonwoo’s arms circling around his waist. Happy tears were threatening to fall from his sockets, while a broad grin making its way to his thin lips. He seemed so happy, Soonyoung almost cried. Instead, he gulped down his mixed emotions. Barely, but he managed. They’re in public, for God’s sake, Soonyoung’s not gonna cry _here_ , unlike _that idiot_ who already had snot running from his nose, watching the future parents being lovey-dovey.

“You’re carrying my baby?”

“I...guess? Unless there’s somebody else touched me three months ago besides you, then I guess it’s yours,” he said, hiding away his embarrassment with a nonchalant shrug, although obviously a futile attempt. Yet, Wonwoo frowned instantly.

“Was there…?”

“NO! _Eww_ , Wonu, what the fuck?!” Soonyoung made a disgusted expression along with a loud gasp. Please tell him his soulmate did not just accuse him for cheating with another guy!

“Then why don’t you just said so?! Tell me it’s mine from the start! Why do you have to be so damn difficult, Soonyoungie? If I don’t love you so damn much I can’t breathe without you, I’d leave you by now!” his arms pressed his lover further into his tight embrace.

Soonyoung was puffy and squishy, perfect against the sharp joints and lean figure of Wonwoo. Albeit he had eaten a lot more now after he met Soonyoung, Wonwoo was suspicious that the only part of his body which could gain weight naturally was his cheeks. His cheeks were fuller now, not as full as Soonyoung’s, but he looked healthy and well-fed. His limbs, though, still long, still bony. His body consisted of 75% legs and 25% other body parts. That fact would never disappear, no matter how many snacks he threw into his mouth.

“Cheesy! Cheesy alert! Why my baby’s daddy’s gotta be this stinky cheese!”

“Because you love me, idiot!” Wonwoo placed his chin on top of Soonyoung’s head, while the said head was buried against his chest, arms wrapped securely around it, making Soonyoung felt warm, felt safe. “And I love you. I love you so much…I’ll take care of you and our baby all my life…” 

Upon hearing this, Soonyoung smiled lovingly. “Yeah, I know. You’ll be perfect for us, Won-ah, like always…” a whisper ghosted against his thin, quivering lips, before a chaste kiss was placed on top of them.

And just like in those cliché romantic movies, people around them started clapping. Some even dared to coo at the couple. Seokmin, too, was clapping along with a wide grin spread on his face, contrary to the stain of tears left on his cheeks. He was so happy for both of them. They had always been amazing friends to him and he hoped only joy and laughter ever filled their lives together from now on.

Seokmin turned his head to scan all the familiar faces in the crowd near them. His mother snuggled to his father, looking at the young parents-to-be with adoring gaze, probably reminiscing how happy they used to be in similar situation. Jihoon, Soonyoung’s little brother, sat on Junhui’s lap, the Chinese exchange student Jihoon had his eyes fixated on since day one, with Junhui’s arms around his waist. He laughed silently when Jihoon said something—most likely sarcastic remark as usual—into his ear. Mingyu, the student council president, and Minghao, the other Chinese exchange student—somehow caught into their tangled friendship circle because Jihoon was dating Junhui—were leaning their backs against the wall, watching amusedly at the commotion. They were probably talking intimately like they had been a few weeks prior. It’s one step closer for Mingyu who had been pinning on the guy. Mingyu’s crush was very plain to see, yet they stubbornly kept their relationship as ‘best friends’. Sofia had her hands around Chan’s right arm.

All pair of eyes twinkled with love and prayer tor the happy couple who were now kissing in a much bolder way, making people cooed at them more. That day, Seokmin never lost his smile even until he was on board, watching the country he was born in became smaller and smaller, rapidly changed with a vast blue sky and the ocean of clouds underneath. He left his good life of 18 years with a warm chest and assurance that everything would be all right.


End file.
